Regardless of how simple a situation might be, if you try to go through it on your own, things can get hard. That’s one of the main reasons why brides and grooms traditionally build a bridal party – to be part of the ceremony and support them throughout the event planning stage, the ceremony, and even after marriage.
Are you aware, though, of the essential bridal party duties? Are you able to align a team’s ideas and expectations while also managing the entire group?
If it’s not your case yet, keep on this article until you feel safe and prepared to be a group manager for the time of your uniquely special event and have, at least, a glimpse of the ideal people to recruit to your bridal party.
What is a bridal party?
First things first: a bridal party is a group of people chosen by both the groom and bride to help on the ceremony day.
To get organised, each party member should receive a title to understand their roles: bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, and ring bearers cover all the primary party functions.
Frankly, none of these are mandatory, and it’s always possible to think outside the box. However, society customs, status notions, and interpersonal relationships change, and yet these roles have proven through time to be an effective way to divide and host a wedding event. That’s why we see them as traditional roles nowadays.
On the next topic, you’ll understand what to expect from each role and what tasks assign to your crew to do for you. After all, grooms and brides would opt for having clones, if they could, to help them finish what is on their plate – especially in the stage that starts one month before the big day and goes on until the day after.
The truth is: it’s too much for only two people.
What are Bridesmaids and Groomsmen? How can they help?
You might look for it, but you won’t find a universal book that says exactly what their duties are. So, before we go listing duties, have in mind that you can assign different roles and responsibilities to your party according to what you believe is best for the group, whichever the reason might be, especially if you’re including religious traditions in your wedding.
Usual Bridesmaids duties:
- Help plan activities (events pre-, during, and post-ceremony).
- Help plan the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and rehearsal dinner.
- Support with decoration details (DIYs, wedding theme decor, venue organisation, for example).
- Escort the bride on several missions: cake tasting, picking a wedding dress, and other moments when a second opinion is gratefully welcome.
- Contact guests to guarantee no problems with invitations will occur: have they received their invitations? Are there RSVP cards?
- Take care of the wedding website: share teasers, manage guest and gift lists, basic info like address, schedule, chronogram, etc.
- During the event, gather and watch over gifts left at the reception by the guests.
- Take action at the altar and put into practice what you’ll have rehearsed before the wedding date.
- Sign the couple’s marriage licence in the weeks following the ceremony.
Usual Groomsmen duties:
- Help plan activities (events pre-, during, and post-ceremony).
- Help plan the bachelor party and rehearsal dinner.
- Be a fashion consultant, and help the groom gain confidence.
- Prepare surprises, such as getaway cars and live bands for the couple. Their imagination (and budget) limit the possibilities.
- Possibly act as the ushers, venue staff, and fix-it-men.
- Safely transport gifts from the wedding reception to the couple’s assigned location.
- Take action at the altar and put into practice what you’ll have rehearsed before the wedding date.
- Sign the couple’s marriage licence in the weeks following the ceremony.
What are Flower Girl and Ring Bearers? What are their roles?
These are roles for specific functions, and we can say they’re less crucial for a bridal party, especially if we think a couple might not want to host a romantic and traditional event.
Yet, these roles are enchanting and magical and carry the potential to make tears come out from both the guests and the couple. Depending on who is out there, it’s impossible not to get touched by the cute reactions from children when they take part in a wedding ceremony.
Flower Girls: They scatter rose petals (or any other flower choice) down the aisle before (sometimes while, and most often after) the bride walks down. Frequently, a flower girl is younger than the age of eight and is related to the bride or groom by blood – a niece, a cousin, a sister, or even a daughter.
Ring Bearer: They carry the couple’s rings to the bridal party members on the altar. Frequently, a ring bearer is younger than the age of eight, just like the flower girls. However, it’s not unusual to find adults in these roles since children might panic or get too embarrassed.
How Many Is Too Many In My Bridal Party?
Your bridal party can be short, with a maid of honour, the flower girls, and the ring bearer; just that. If that’s the case, you’ll have to request the vendors working at the venue to perform most of the tasks your party would do at the event; and, then, help keep things under control and the guests calm and happy.
Yet, you can build a true crew, with 15 bridesmaids and groomsmen – or more – and no one would say you’d have exaggerated the number of party members.
So, what would be the right amount?
Two factors will determine if your crew is ready to set sail or still need reinforcement: the number of guests and your capability to manage groups.
The first is evident and simple to understand: more guests result in a higher demand of assistants during the event and more people to safeguard and transport the wedding gifts. Besides, a vaster venue will be necessary, and the bridal party will have to split and cover every corner.
What might not be that easy to realise is how complicated dealing with more than ten people at the same time can be -especially if those recruited are not close friends and there is the need to keep the communication polite not to sound rude or picky.
Pre-ceremony, you’ll have to set dates and gather the whole party to give instructions, align ideas, cut doubts, and practise walking down the aisle. Then, you’ll remember people have different schedules and lives, and, at that moment, the trouble will be guaranteed:
You’ll have problems gathering everyone; you’ll make decisions at some point (plan changes, set a new date to gather everyone again, for instance), and some of the party members won’t get to know because they were absent, and so on… Will someone realise it? Will some say something to them? Maybe not!
During the day, some of your members will be working hard to give their best – they will be in the centre of the venue, talking to dozens of people in a matter of seconds, putting effort into making the event run neat.
However, some might be standing on isolated parts and not be seeing the necessity of putting in that much effort. They might even get distracted and forget they are members of the bridal party and, so, start enjoying the event as a simple guest. If you see that, you’ll probably have to take a deep breath… The members that are trying hard as well.
Of course, not every bridal party goes through problems. In fact, most of them run just fine, and the reason is: brides and grooms keep their bridal parties on a small number and are picky with their choices: they only invite people who are easy to coordinate and interact with before, during, and after the ceremony.
Tips on how to manage the bridal party
- Build a small team of trustworthy and friendly people.
- Don’t over-invite members, because if all of them accept, you might go into trouble dealing with a too busy party.
- Take a day to list names: forgetting to invite a true friend can tear a friendship down, so make sure to include every close friend of yours on the list…
- Or remove all of them once and for all. Pick the most enchanting and easygoing children from the family and let vendors help you during the ceremony if you realise a friendship is at risk. For instance, two close friends that can’t get along, or a troublesome friend that thinks high of you, but this feeling isn’t mutual.
- Make sure you gather with your whole bridal party at least two days before the wedding ceremony.
- Create a Telegram – or some other network – group for instant communication during the event.
- Reiterate many times: you need your bridal party to set the mood when the party starts! Constantly remember that they are in charge to dance the whole night and party up in the dance room as if they were teenagers going to their first ball in life.
Finally, regardless of how difficult things can get and how tired you might be: take a breath, and remember it is the most special day of your life.
Enjoy the moment and remember: from that day on, your life will change significantly, and you’ll be by the side of the most wonderful person you’ve met in your entire life. It’s a whole day to celebrate: make sure to appreciate it.