A bridal shower is a relaxing and funny event to reunite some of the most important people for the bride-to-be and her. Its purpose is to promote interaction and give the opportunity to dear friends and relatives to give gifts to add to her future married life.
Today, you will learn: who throws and attends a bridal shower, how to make it fun and entertaining, tips on how to plan it, many other useful hints.
What exactly is a bridal shower?
Being a centenary tradition, the bridal shower derives its origins from old stories from the Netherlands, in which a young woman got engaged, but her parents refused to accept the bridegroom she had chosen. In the 16th century, as it was common for brides – mandatory for some families – to provide a dowry before the wedding, she wouldn’t be able to get married.
As this bride could not offer it, friends, other family members, and many people from her town got touched by the story, and made donations and gave small gifts so that she could at least help build her new home and be able to get married.
Time has passed; the culture has changed, but the spirit of solidarity stays. At a bridal shower, friends and relatives “shower” the bride with small gifts.
A wedding is an expensive event and starting a new life as a couple might be challenging. That’s why we unite and help brides-to-be and grooms-to-be to build their new lives.
Finally, at the event itself, the right way to do it is to make the event as cheerful as it can be, and get everyone attending in the mood. At most bridal showers, eating, laughing, dancing to cool songs, and crying the eyes out when sharing stories and the bride is opening the presents, are the most common activities. If that sounds a bit cringy to you, it’s always possible to use creativity and go even further when planning the bridal pastime activities.
Who launches the event?
A few years ago, it was considered “greedy” if a member of the bride’s family threw the bridal shower. However, things have changed and as family members are usually very close to the bride and know a lot about her life and needs, it is very common to see mothers, sisters, and even cousins hosting the event.
Even though relatives are OK, the most common tradition is the maid of honor to be the one to host it. There is nothing wrong if anyone else takes the initiative though.
A person in charge can adjust the details on their own, but they rely on the bride’s opinions and preferences to make a decision over issues such as location, date, and wish and guest list. It is also possible the event is planned on the sly, in total surprise from the bride.
In this latter case, I recommend the person who hosts it to be very close to the bride so they know her tastes, routine, etc. in order not to let things go wrong and make a negative surprise in the day.
Lastly, the person in charge needs to take several details into consideration and prepare the event without raising the slightest suspicion.
Who to Invite?
All official wedding guests can be invited to the bridal shower, but not everyone needs to be invited in fact. There may also be those who have been invited, but who unfortunately will not attend the event for [insert a reason]. So, a bridal shower can be a good moment for these people to interact with the couple or the bride.
The event can be held in the most classic way: Only for women. However, it is not the only possibility: The “Jack and Jill Shower” format may also exist. In this case, the event tends to be thrown as a “couple shower”, but, literally, anyone included among the wedding guests can attend.
Make sure to include location, date, time, and dress code when preparing the invitations.
How to plan a bridal shower?
1- Start planning
Collect information like a list of the wedding guests, and possible dates for the event to take place. If you are doing it secretly, you’d better start planning everything in advance. I recommend you start it from 4 to 8 months beforehand to ensure nothing will go wrong.
2- Deciding on a budget
Usually, whoever throws the event is the one who bears the expenses as well. After all, it is an event intended to give support to a bride, right?
Even so, many brides often end up talking to their maid of honor after the party and they share the costs, and sometimes even cover everything.
In any case, I recommend you do not talk about the costs with the bride before or during the event to avoid stressful situations. The best way to do it is to keep the responsibility to yourself and do not spend more than you could.
To make everything perfect, keep in mind: a bridal shower’s top #1 intention is to cooperate and have fun.
3- Guestlist and location
Once the budget is set, you can choose how many people you will invite, the kind of snacks and beverages, and finally look for a venue for the event. Home, a party room, a dedicated venue, a restaurant… These are all possibilities. Consider the formality level that most appeals to the couple and build the event around it.
4- Bridal shower theme
As the wedding is themed, the event can also be! If the budget allows, invest in decorations that give a taste of what the wedding itself will be like.
Another possibility is to make the event less formal and cozier. But make sure that the music, the sweets, the clothes, and the mood will be in keeping with the theme of the party.
5- Bridal shower invitations
At this point, everything is ready to receive invitations. Create them and you can send them now.
Remember: location, time, date, and dress code.
6- Plan every detail
When to play games, the moment to provide the snacks, the beverages, and the main meal, when to give the gifts, etc. Everything must be well scheduled and planned, very clear in your mind.
7- Create a playlist
Whether homey or formal, thematic or non-thematic, there is no way to do an event like this without great and proper music.
So, prepare a playlist that pleases both the bride and groom and tune up the venue with the right melody.
